everything happens for a reason...

all i need

Have you ever had a moment when you came to conclusions about your life? When all of a sudden you realize things you never really knew. Inadvertently, these are thoughts in the back of a person's mind and things we try to hide. So last night I sat in my bed thinking...it wasn't like a lonely sad thinking more like happy to know exactly what I want. In terms of the guy I'm still head over heels for, I was always curious why I can't get over it. It is the worst feeling to want someone and not be with them. In this case I think it's a mutual feeling that we both can't detach from. Anyways, I realized it's because he's everything I could want in a guy. I know this sounds stupid but I was just laughing to myself of the silly things he used to do especially the stupid things he would do to make me laugh. It's a rare thing to find someone that you feel comfortable with and act yourself whether its being silly or just plain stupid. I remember one time when he was thirsty so he was pouring water into his mouth upside down, and he was like "im drowning...will you save me". It's sooo stupid but hilarious at the same time. I also remember one time when I pretended I was taking doctor classes and my teacher taught me about sex etc. It was crazy but I laughed so hard. These are all the times that I can't forgot nor can anyone replace. When was the last time someone made me laugh so hard?? When have I felt butterflies towards another guy? When I can say that I've been truly happy with another person and not thought of him?
See once again I would be lying to say I'm truly happy and over it. But I'm happy to know that this is what I need and looking forward to in another person. someday....*sigh*